Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
