hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
