...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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