I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Randomize
