I faked an abortion last night.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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