how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
