Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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