If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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