atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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