one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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