I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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