i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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