I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
