so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Text me some of your sweat
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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