Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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