Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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