Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
