so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
