Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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