i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
