I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
