There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
kristin has been a bad kristin
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
