I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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