U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
