Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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