its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
