He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
