if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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