alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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