the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
