If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
