Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
