not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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