It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
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She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's even glitter on my cock...
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