we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
