Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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