I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
