The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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