Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
