I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize