I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
