TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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