My liver just broke up with me...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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