Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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