Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
where am i from again
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
