I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
