I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
