I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
