Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize