it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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