Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
