She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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