Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
