Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
