it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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