She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize