Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
