I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
