Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
