I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
