Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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